Doing the Right Thing - Cultivating Your Moral Intelligence

This is a book I read written by Aaron Hass, Ph.D.

In the book, it wrote:

How healthy is your moral self?

- Am I treating other people the way I like to be treated?
- Am I being generous as I can be right now?
- Do I apologize when I've been wrong?
- Am I able to give another person the benefit of doubt?

In his summarized intro, he felt that acting morally is in our best interest and it is a book about getting beyond excuses and doing what is right regardless of how others behave.

He introduced his book telling that he wanted to feel safer in this "every man for himself" world. He believes that all of us can make a difference; knowing that we can be better, thus he wrote it for our future generation.

He introduce the book about approaching our ordinary relationships and everyday quandaries with greater empathy, greater sensitivity, greater fairness, and greater kindness.

He started us with some self-evaluation questions:

1. I know that what I'm doing is wrong, but I cant help myself.
2. I wish I could be a better person.
3. I know what I should do, but I don't do it.
4. I want to express my feelings whenever I have them.

The author shared  that someone might have shared the secret of feeling good is to be kinder and more generous to ourselves; but regardless how successful or whatever we do, we may still flunk life.

He offered an alternative - a different remedy that does not demand achievement or acquisition to feel good about ourselves. It only requires us to do what is right, what is fair. It only asks that we be generous and wants us to be our very best.

He acknowledged that we may sensed that much of our potential is unrealized. But we have also overlooked a basic need in our quest for self-actualization. He suggested the reason for our lack of personal fulfilment is that we have not given sufficient heed to our moral selves.

He observed that there are times when we falter, we behaved in ways even we know are questionable. Unfortunately, we tend to deceive ourselves to maintain a positive self-deposition; rationalized the ways we acted dishonestly, unkindly, or even selfishly. As it is easiest for us to forgive our immoral behaviour when we are hurt by another.

As such, we have provided ourselves with excuses in order to squelch any potential pangs of guilts:

- Everybody does that sometimes.
- People do worse things than this.
- Nobody's perfect.
- It's not such a big deal.

He noted that we will engage in all sorts of pyschological somersaults in order to remain blameless, in order to retain our self-image of goodness. Ironically, the fact that we use these excuses is to justify our behaviour implies that deep down, we know what is right and wrong, just and unjust.

His observation that we have little difficulty making black and white judgments of our fellow man or woman.We excuse our own actions when our intentions are honourable or, at least, benign. We judge others simply by what they do. And how easily we succumb to feeling morally superior to them.

But he opined that fairness requires that we all become more reticent to judge and it's remarkable how easily we form impressions based on superficial information, and how resistant those impressions are to change.

He moved in to talk about views of intelligence from traditionally to recent years, and introduced a third realm of intelligence - moral intelligence.

He gave an overview what is moral intelligence is about and described moral intelligence encompasses both the ability to behave morally and the capacity to reason in a moral manner. In cross-cultural research has indicated there appear to be certain criteria that are universally held: fairness, duty or a responsibility to others, dignity, and self-control. He felt that the basis of moral intelligence is acting morally often serves our own need to self-actualization as well as registering our concerns for others.